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Spiritual Love (7) Love Does Not Act Unbecomingly
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April 25, 2021 |
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 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,”
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
‘Manners’ and ‘etiquette’ are the words for describing proper behaviors and attitude that people should have. Etiquette is the practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority. Manners are the socially correct way of acting.
On the one hand, it is certain that good behaviors and appropriate manners should make a good impression on others. On the other hand, unbecoming acts and violating proper social conventions would cause discomfort to people. Furthermore, what if we say we love somebody and then act unbecomingly toward them? They wouldn’t be able to believe we love them.
To act unbecomingly is not being in accord with the acceptable standards implied by one’s character or position. Though they might be different, all cultures have proper ways of greeting others or having conversations. Surprisingly many of us do not realize we are being rude. This is especially the case toward those who are close to us. Feeling comfortable around them could lead to inappropriate actions or words toward them.
If we really love somebody, we do not act unbecomingly. If you have a very precious gemstone, you’d handle it very cautiously. How much more would you be careful when you really love somebody? There are two kinds of rudeness that comes out from lack of love. The first is to be unseemly toward God and the second is toward men.
1. Discourtesy toward God
We can see that some people say they love God but their behaviors and words suggest otherwise. One of the best examples of being rude before God is to doze off during worship service.
If it would be such tremendous rudeness before the president of a country or in front of your boss, then how could we be so unseemly before God? It is also inappropriate to talk with others or have idle thoughts during the worship service. Such acts clearly show that they don’t have the genuine reverence toward God.
The preacher or pastor might be worried that their messages are boring, and this might stop the inspiration of the Holy Spirit on them. In effect it causes damage not only to themselves but also to the whole congregation.
There is also leaving the sanctuary during the worship service. Some have special duties but this is an exceptional case. Other than such special cases, of course we have to focus on the worship service until the end. We have to offer all processions of the worship service with all our heart. We should keep on paying attention not only during praises or prayers but also in offerings or announcements.
We should also attend praise and worship services or cell group worship services with all our heart, in addition to formal worship services. Above all, we must not be late to the service. God always waits for us before we arrive. Therefore, it is appropriate for us to come before the service begins and prepare for it with prayers.
There are also other inappropriate behaviors. Coming to church after drinking or smoking; using cell phones during worship service; allowing your children make noise or play around; and, chewing gum or eating food during worship service.
It is important to have proper appearance for worship service, too. We can’t just come in casual home clothes. Attire is a way of showing respect to other people. If we believe in God, we will come before Him in at least clean and neat clothes because we know how precious and dignified He is.
In cases of Wednesday service of Friday all-night service, you might come from work directly in work clothes. God wouldn’t say this is rudeness, but rather He would be pleased with your yearning for worship service.
God wants to communicate with His children through worship and prayers. Prayers are our conversation with God. You might stop somebody’s prayer because of some urgent matter by tapping on that person. Or you might stop praying immediately just because somebody is calling you. These things are impoliteness before God.
If you are discourteous to God every time, you might even create a wall of sin before God so that you could face diseases or accidents. You wouldn’t get answers to your prayers easily.
2. Sanctuary: Holy House of God
The Temple is where God dwells (Ps. 11:4). The holy places in the Old Testament times were set apart only for priests to enter in. In the case of holy of holies, the high priest could enter only once a year. Today, by the grace of the Lord, anyone can go into the sanctuary to worship, because He redeemed us from our sins through His blood (Heb. 10:19).
A sanctuary does not only refer to the place of worship but also every place that belongs to the church compound. Therefore, we must be watchful of our words and behaviors anywhere in the church. We must not quarrel or talk about secular business or entertainment. We must not carelessly use the things in the church or damage them. We should not easily use even just one envelop belonging to the church.
Especially, any buying and selling must not be allowed in the church. Jesus overturned the tables of the money changers and merchants who were selling animals for sacrifices. Even though the animals were for sacrifices, He wouldn’t allow them, not to talk about buying and selling things for personal use. The same goes for sales for charity.
All places in the sanctuary are set apart for worship service and fellowship in the Lord. We must never be insensitive of the holiness of the church whenever we have meetings. If we really long for God’s sanctuary, we wouldn’t act unbecomingly toward it.
3. Acting Unbecomingly Towards People
1 John 4:20 says, “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”
What are some of the unseemly acts in our daily lives? Usually we act unbecomingly toward others when we try to serve our own interest. You might call late at night; you might call a busy person and talk for a long time. You might be late to your appointment; you might visit somebody’s house unannounced. These are all acts of rudeness.
One might think like, “We’re so close and it feels there is no love to consider all those things at all times.” Of course, you might be able to understand everything of each other, but it’s not easy to understand others 100%. You might think it’s an expression of fondness but they might take it differently. Therefore, we must always think from the other’s viewpoint. Especially you must be careful in a very close relationship.
They might say careless words just because they feel comfortable with the other person, thereby hurting their feelings. If you are rude to your family or close friends, you might have more trouble than with others. If you are coercive or demanding of others just because they are juniors or subordinates, it’d cause uncomfortable feelings. Especially today, it’s not easy to find people who genuinely respect their parents, teachers or seniors who deserve the respect.
Some might say it’s today’s generation, but the truth never changes. Lev. 19:32 says, “You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the LORD.”
God’s will is that we do all our duties among men, too. Therefore we should keep the laws and the order of the society, too. If you create commotion in public, spit on the streets, or violate traffic rules, then you are being unbecoming toward many people. We are Christians who should be the light and salt of the world, and we must be careful of our words and behaviors.
4. Law of Love: A Universal Standard
Most people have occasions to meet somebody, talk with them, or dine with them. There are many social conventions in such occasions that have to be kept. However, people have different educations, knowledge, and cultural backgrounds.
So, what kind of standard could we have not to be unbecoming in word or action? It is the law of love in our heart. Law of love is the law of God who is love itself. To the extent that we learn the word of God and practice it, we will have the manners of the Christ and not act unbecomingly.
Another meaning in the law of love is ‘consideration’. There was a man who was walking on a street with a lantern. Another man was passing him by, and he realized this man with the lantern was a blind man. He thought it strange and asked him why he was carrying a lantern, if he was not able to see. “It is to prevent me from bumping into you. It is for you,” He replied.
Consideration for others has great power to move their heart. On the contrary, rudeness comes from not being considerate of others and lacking in love. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.”
Dear brothers and sisters,
Those who truly love God will worship in spirit and truth. When they love their brothers and sisters, God will give them blessings and heavenly rewards. I pray in the name of the Lord that you will completely cultivate spiritual love with which you do not act unbecomingly toward others, so that you will have the glory like the sun in the eternal kingdom of heaven!
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