Spiritual Love (8) - Love Doesn't Seek Its Own
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October 28, 2012 |
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 "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered." (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
As time passes, love cools down and people increasingly seek their own benefit rather than that of others. There was an incident of a toxic substance put in powdered baby formula and, even though it meant great loss to their own country, people sold domestic source-only technology to overseas buyers for their personal interests. Today many people are doing such heinous deeds without hesitation. Nowadays when egoism is rampant, we are in a period of the most desperate need of spiritual love ever.
1. Spiritual love is to seek others' benefits
By looking back upon our daily lives, we can check if we seek our own benefits or others' benefits first. Let me give you a real life example. Let's say that several people go to eat together. They have to choose what to eat as a group. One of them is insistent concerning what he wants to eat. Another person follows what this person wants, but he is not comfortable about it inside. There is one person who always asks others' opinions first. Then, not to embarrass the group, whether he likes the kind of food the others have chosen or not, he follows the group and always eats with joy.
Let me give you another example. Some workers are preparing for an event. They have various options available. One person relentlessly tries to persuade others until they finally agree with him. Another person does not insist on his opinion so much, but he doesn't really like the others' opinion, either. Still another person listens to others whenever they give their opinions. Even if he has a good idea, he tries to follow the others' opinions.
It is in this way that the love we have determines our actions. When there is an argument between you and the others and peace is broken, you need to check whether or not you insisted on your opinion and sought your benefit. If you yield to others and think from their position, you can maintain peace. Peace is broken when you seek your own benefit. If we love somebody, we naturally follow his idea in everything and seek his benefit rather than our own.
Parents feel happier when their children eat well and wear good clothes, rather than they themselves doing so. If we seek others' benefits with this kind of love, how pleased our God the Father will be with us!
2. Abraham sought others' benefits
The heart of seeking not your own benefit, but that of others' comes from self-sacrificing love. You might feel like you suffer from loss for the time being when you don't seek your benefit. But if you have eyes of faith, it's not the case. This is because when you seek others' benefits following God's will, He will give you answers and blessing.
A representative biblical figure of the case is Abraham. Genesis Chapter 13 talks about Abraham and Lot his nephew. Lot lost his father in early childhood and he trusted and followed Abraham as his father. He received blessings thanks to Abraham who was loved by God. They were very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. And there was even strife for water between the herdsmen of Abraham's (then called 'Abram') livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock because both had so much livestock.
Abraham decided to separate his and Lot's to prevent further family discord. He allowed Lot to choose the better land first. Genesis 13:9 reads, "Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left." Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan that was well-watered.
Abraham could have chosen his land first since Lot's blessing was given thanks to him and he was Lot's uncle, namely, elder person, but he didn't. If he had formally let Lot choose land, he would have felt bad for Lot who left for his own benefit with no hesitation. But he wanted Lot to have a better land from his heart, so he could keep peace with Lot. In the end, he received much greater blessing from God.
Abraham, who sought Lot's benefit, could enjoy great wealth and authority such that he was respected by kings of neighboring areas. Due to such a heart of goodness, he was called the friend of God. A person who seeks what is beneficial for others in everything like Abraham, understands others' hearts and follows what is beneficial for them. Such a person does not seek things that seem good just for themselves.
Joy bestowed when we give what is ours to our beloved ones is the greatest joy. It's difficult to give what is ours to people whom we hate, but it's not difficult whatsoever to give to people whom we love. Only those who have given the most precious thing they possess to their beloved ones can understand this kind of joy. Giving itself is a source of joy for them. Therefore, I hope you will enjoy the Lord-given happiness by possessing spiritual love that puts the benefits of God and your church before your own, and those of others like neighbors, parents, brothers, husbands, wives, and children before yours as well.
3. In order not to seek our own benefits
Sometimes if we are partial to a Christian life, we may cause hardship to family members or others. For example, when you fast you may cause difficulty for the work you do for your company if you say that you have no strength. If you just do the church-related work all the time without adequately caring for your family members; or, if a house wife neglects housework by focusing too much on church affairs; or, if a student is lazy in study, and is diligent only in church meetings it causes problems.
They might say they don't seek their own benefits because they don't idly waste time or take a rest, but in the strict sense, they are seeking their own benefits. Even if they are faithful in the work of the Lord, they cannot be considered to be accomplishing their whole duty. They just did what they liked to do, but neglected what they should have done.
Therefore, in order not to seek our own benefits in everything, we have to rely on the Holy Spirit. He leads us to the truth. If we follow His guidance in every circumstance, we will be able to live only for the glory of God, whatever we do.
To hear the Spirit's voice and receive His guidance, we have to cast off evil from our heart above all else. Furthermore, if we accomplish spiritual love in our hearts, then we will receive wisdom of goodness in each situation. We will be able to discern the will of God better. Likewise, if our souls are prosperous, all things will go well with us and we will be healthy, so that we will be able to work faithfully as much as we want.
We must seek others' benefit, not our own, so that we will be acknowledged as God's children and loved even by unbelieving neighbors and family members. When a newly-wed couple comes to me to receive my prayer of blessing, I pray like this: "Let them form a beautiful family that seeks each other's benefit." This is because they can't form a peaceful family if they seek their own benefits.
Dear brothers and sisters, I told you that it is the greatest joy to give what is ours to our beloved ones and seek their benefits before our own. But that is not all that God wants us to achieve. He wants us to seek the benefits of not only those whom we love and are helpful to us, but also those of people who give us hard times and may even cause us harm.
If you still want to avoid and hate someone who gives you hard time, you should realize you still have a heart of seeking your own benefit.
Even if you are faced with unfavorable situations or you work with totally different people from you, only when you always seek their benefits and sacrifice yourselves can you achieve spiritual love. I pray in the name of the Lord that you will become men and women of spirit who wholeheartedly seek others' benefit with love and sacrifice even when their thoughts don't agree with yours.
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