The One Who Has Made My Shattered Body Whole Again, 10 years of yearning... now, whether I live or die, I am the Lord's!
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September 24, 2007 |
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~ Johanna Park (Missionary to Japan)
 After leaving my hometown and moving to Seoul, and as I grew increasingly weary from yearning for home and stress from work, the only thing that held me together was God's love.
Passionate encounter with God but falling back into the world
In the autumn of 1988, after being led to Manmin Joong-ang Church by the owner of a beauty salon, I received overflowing grace from "The Lectures on 'The Book of Job,'" and joined the church the following year. While listening to the series "The Message of the Cross," I could believe from the heart that the Lord took up the cross for me and as the Spirit of repentance descended upon me, I could rend my heart. I cried so much that the tears washed down the contact lenses I was wearing.
The following morning, I put on my glasses but could barely see anything; everything was out of focus and looked hazy. I could see clearer without my glasses so I took them off and went for an eye exam. The vision of my eyes, which had been lower than 20/200, had improved to 20/20 in the left and 20/25 in the right! After this undeniable experience of the living God, I fell in love with listening to His Word and praying. As I received His answers to my prayers immediately, I soon had a good job.
God had given me teeming grace but after I was promoted and had everything going my way, I gradually distanced myself from God. As I received people's recognition, arrogance crept in and I began to trust in my own might. I could no longer pray from the depths of my heart; I would come to "The Daniel Prayer Meeting" but stay only for a little bit and go home, and eventually stopped praying altogether. Telling myself that I was too busy, I would come to church on Sundays only for the Morning Service and went to work. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, 'I shouldn't do this," but there wasn't much I could do.
Unexpected car accident; God the Healer
 Assessed with the first-degree disability and thinking that the Lord was the only One who would accept me the way I am, I sought the sanctuary...
By one day in May 1993, my guilt was replaced by fear and I could not get rid of the anxious feeling from it. I was on the way home from work in the car of my coworker when the vehicle in front of us violated a traffic signal and I soon found myself in the middle of a five-car wreck. I immediately passed out and was brought to a hospital.
I regained consciousness in three days but my head hurt terribly. The temporomandibular joint had been fractured, my tooth chipped, and the injury to my intestines resulting in ileus brought about nonstop vomiting and diarrhea. I lost all my senses in the right leg, which fluttered like an octopus sucker, and no part, joint, or limb in my body was well. Things looked so bleak that I could not even gather myself to cry. I was told I would never walk again and assessed with a first-degree disability ("total loss of work capacity and requiring constant attendance").
About 3 months into hospitalization, my family and coworkers stopped visiting me. If there was one thing I learned while fighting the loneliness I felt during that time, it was that the only One who would accept me the way I am was the Lord.
I resumed praying at that point and while fasting, I gathered all the money that I had had, prepared an offering, and attended "The 2nd Special Two-week Revival Meeting with Dr. Jaerock Lee" in May 1994. With the help of the Manmin Volunteer Brigade, I was literally dragged to the sanctuary.
I was deeply touched by the words of a praise song, "Get up and walk. I will give you strength..." and rent my heart in repentance, begging for forgiveness of having forsaken the Lord despite the grace I had received. The moment I received Speaker Dr. Jaerock Lee's prayer, my body felt as though electricity were flowing through it.
 "Get up and walk. I will give you strength..."
Receiving strength from above, I began walking forward one step at a time...
"This is God at work! This is God at work! I can walk now!"
As I received strength from above, I could stand up on my own and amidst the sounds of applause and cheers, I began walking forward one step at a time.
Hallelujah!
10 years of yearning for home
After I vowed to go anywhere in the world and testify to my God the Healer, another adversity found my way. I went on a business trip to Japan in 1996 but was unable to return home.
Living in a country which gave me no particular reason for me to live there required me to try harder than the times I lived in Korea. Including manual labor, I did things I had never done so that I could make my ends meet. When I had settled down somewhat, I provided lodging and taught skills to people who had nowhere to go but one day, someone stole away all my workload and ran away. Yet, despite all this, my hopes of returning home was the only source of strength by which I survived each day.
I wanted to bring a harvest with which Senior Pastor would be pleased when I returned home and met with him. So I began my studies at a seminary, something I had vowed to do before but never carried out. When I also began praying for some other ways to do work for the Lord, I realized that I could share the gospel through the store I was running at the time.
The idea was to bring together the fans of Korean actor Bae Yong Joon, the star of a Korean TV show "Winter Sonata" and who was immensely popular in Japan. When I began advertising "The Gathering for the Fans of Bae Yong Joon in Japan," many people flocked. Cleaning the streets of Koreatown while donning a shoulder band alongside them, I corrected their misconceptions on Korea's history and taught the Korean language to them. As our activities were somehow reported on television, even more fans of the actor logged onto my website and I gained the precious opportunity to show off Korea and share the gospel with them.
While I was settling down in Japan, my yearning for Korea, Manmin Joong-ang Church, and Senior Pastor Jaerock Lee only increased.
I prayed, "God, I long to return to Korea. Help me go home soon!" as I participated in the worship services on the Internet.
Coming home and the life as a missionary
 And with an earnest hope of recompensing the grace of God's love, I now live as a missionary to Japan...
Finally coming home in June 2006, I set aside 6 months for prayer and prepared myself to return to Manmin Joong-ang Church. As someone who had received God's overflowing grace, I was so embarrassed and felt very guilty at God because I had let the Senior Pastor wait for me for that long. I repented and repented and gained strength to return to the church.
For the Chinese New Year's in February 2007, I visited Manmin, only thinking, 'He will accept me the way I am.' I was deeply touched by the love of the Senior Pastor and Manmin members, who had not forgotten me even though a decade had passed, and I could unload the burdens in my heart that had been pressed down by embarrassment and guilt. Furthermore, God opened for me the road to the life as a missionary so that I could recompense the love of the Senior Pastor and bring back to salvation the spiritually corrupt souls in Japan.
I was officially commissioned as "Missionary to Japan" on June 3, 2007, and I could not control the tears streaming down my cheeks.
If it were not for God's grace, I could and should not be here today. Only by God's power have I been made whole and living healthily without any relapse.
I give all thanks and glory to the living God healing me, and as I am the Lord's whether I live or die, I shall live the rest of my life only for His glory.
Hallelujah!
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