Many people say they cannot change the very nature of their personality and stubbornly hold on to it without changing. Of course, every person has a different character and we cannot say such and such character is superior.
But some people's personality is so markedly different that it causes difficulty for others, breaks peace, and results in problems in communicating with others. Even among Christians, some may have hard times due to idiosyncrasies in character.
Let's suppose one person does everything fast and impulsively and the other is very slow and deliberate doing the work. If they want each other to follow their own way while working, a conflict is inevitable. Also, if some have negative ways of thinking or they are too introverted, they might not be able to overcome their limitations and cause trouble for others. Thus, if they cling to their personality it will become a framework.
Then, what should we do to destroy the self-frameworks of personality? The Spirit will give us realization on what kind of framework of personality we have when we pray and meditate on it. We can have a God-pleasing personality and achieve the heart of spirit when we act with the truth as the standard, not one that is a personal standard.
Let's delve into the three sorts of frameworks of personality here.
To destroy the framework of negative thinking_ We should give thanks in everything, feel the love of God, and rejoice always
Some who have the framework of negative thinking tend to talk about worries or troubles without realizing it rather than giving a confession of faith or happy words. This cannot give grace to others and they cannot show virtuous dignity to others. If they make mistakes or hurt others' feelings, they do not try to recover the relations by asking for forgiveness or pleasing them. But they just take a step back from the situation and do nothing.
They have such worries and anxiety from personality so they are faced with limitations even though they trust God and love Him. However, there is nothing impossible for God so if we act with trust in God something impossible will be made possible and something possible will be made even better.
If we really trust and love God we should give thanks to Him in everything, feel the love of God, and rejoice all the time. But those who have the framework of negative personality have worries in their hearts though they say they give thanks and rejoice. If they meet with hardship they try to overcome it with faith but they have hard time thinking, 'What if things go wrong?' Even when something good happens they are trapped with a series of negative thinking such as 'What if it still goes wrong?' and then they come to lose joy and thanks in their hearts.
Therefore, they should try to feel the love of God, give thanks in everything, and run with faith by praying to God. Then, their hearts and thoughts will be changed positively (Philippians 4:6-7).
To break the introversive framework_ We have to harbor others with love and virtuous generosity and broad mind
The introverted do not express themselves easily. It could be inherited from birth or it could be formed with trauma that they have experienced during their lives. For example, if they were severely disappointed by someone in the past they find expressing themselves and telling the truth about their feelings to be difficult. Also, they do not want to reveal their shortcomings to others and try to hide them, which causes a framework to develop.
Even though those with an introverted personality do not have discomfort toward others and act kindly to them, because of such frameworks in their personalities, they cannot let others feel comforted by them. Even if they do not practice any evil they cannot give grace or show virtuous generosity and deliver love to others. Sometimes the personality interferes with their spiritual growth as well as giving others feelings of uneasiness. They may lack the ability to empathize with others' feelings and are unable to effectively communicate their feelings with others. Such people do not share their hearts and even do not have interest in others' hearts. Then, how can they destroy the framework of personality, are changed, and come into spirit? They have to break the framework and pay attention to and consider others' hearts, positions, and situations. They must harbor others with broader insight and hearts and with love and virtuous generosity. Then they can become people of spirit.
To destroy the framework of self-abasement_ We should do our best in everything with obedient hearts
Even if we act in humbleness, we should discern between the situation we should deal with and the situation where we should take a step back. When we do some work, we must not think we are not good enough to do that work. Rather we should boldly achieve the work with trust in God's love and help. This is because in some situations we should boldly come forth and deal with the work with faithfulness for the kingdom of God.
Those who have a framework of self-abasement take a step back saying, "I am not a person who takes charge and I don't have that kind of personality." They avoid taking the responsibility and say, "I want others who are better than me and long for it more to handle it." Some people come to be like this due to their inherent personality but in some cases, they have developed such a framework themselves. In those cases, they might have been bold and passionate but they have been intimidated throughout the long-lasting trials and they no longer act with former boldness.
Some people say that they have not stood on the rock of faith or they have not come into spirit and think they cannot lead in accomplishing the works of God and draw lines marking their own self-set limitations. They tend to just shrink and take a step back. For them to grow up in spirit they must ask for God's strength to work faithfully and more actively. Our God of love will work with us when we do our best to do everything in obedience, even if we have not stood on the rock of faith and come into spirit yet.
Deuteronomy 6:5 reads, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might". Even if you take over something that doesn't seem fit to you if you try to fulfill the duty with love for God you will be able to transcend your personality and achieve a greater work. If you try once and twice, you will transcend it with God-given boldness.
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